Idolizing.

Sometimes it takes a hard slap on your cheek, a punch to your gut, a kick to your crotch, and just an unforgiving shot at your heart for you to realize that you just are wrong about people. It is a lesson that I've learnt the hard way, I'm not even sure if there is a soft way to learning this lesson.

Hello there, I am the Earthian.

People have a knack to let you know very subtly that you mean less to them than a big pile of garbage. It's very subtle, take your focus off for just a second and you just might miss it. That's how subtle it is. Sometimes, things start off really well. In probably the best possible way. And then things start taking twists and turns that we wouldn't have expected it take in the first place. These twists and turns lead to valleys so deep that sometimes it is almost next to impossible to climb up from them. It's a common misconception that words aren't a powerful enough tool. They are, they really are. Don't believe me? Well, just be me for a day or two. You know what, be me for an hour and you will know how badly words can hurt. Especially when your own words are used against you. 

I don't know if this is all of us, but sometimes, I just idolize people. Idolize them based on what they look like, how they behave and whatnot. And when I idolize people, I start idealizing them. I start believing that everything about that person is just pure. From their intentions all the way to their words and habits, I'd think everything about them is just so darn pure that I would be willing to put myself out there, in ways that I would never even think of putting myself out there. And it's not like I'd do this with any other person. It is really a very few people that I'd do this to, make myself vulnerable for. There would almost be nobody else that I'd be willing to do that for. Time though, lets me know the truth. Truth that is just so hard for me to accept, the truth about their true colours. Truth that I'd even look to deny by trying really hard. Multi times, I would check my own attitude for their sake. I would recollect all of the conversations I've had with them hoping that it's me who has defaulted. But when everything corroborates with the truth, my heart just get's shattered. 

The good news is that hearts always heal, if you want them to. And when they heal, they come back a million times stronger than how they were, improving all kinds of shields. Letting people in just gets that much harder. And I know for a fact that as my shields get stronger and stronger, I will be inching towards the perfect people. People who'd accept the whole of my spectrum, accept the whole of my package of silliness, sarcasm, drama and just me. 

With a heart full of love, peace.