Reactions.

I look around myself. I see a lot of happy faces; faces that bloom with joy, faces that smile from ear to ear, faces that I think are incapable of ever wearing a frown. And then I look at myself and all I see is some sort of a disappointment in the form of a frown. 

Hello there, I am the Earthian.

And if you're anyone like me, you probably know that it isn't the best of feelings. I keep asking myself the question of why it is so hard for me to actually be that happy person. I mean, I literally want to be that person. This, whatever it is I am feeling right now is too tiring and not to mention, extremely draining. I may very well be not feeling anything at all to feel this constantly. And I tried to list out all of the reasons of why I am the way I am. Is it all because I don't have something that everyone else has? Is it perhaps because I have something that nobody else has? Is it because I am insensitive towards the feeling of happiness or is it because I am over sensitive to the feeling of gloominess? Is it because I'm not everyone else or is it because I'm me?

Questions like these often occupy my brain. And there usually aren't any answers to these questions. Until I realized that it has always been me who has stopped myself from feeling whatever I've wanted to feel. I can always choose, always. There aren't fixed rules that tell us when to feel what, how to respond to what situations, how to react to them, how to take them in and how to process them. We rarely think about any of this. It is because we have been accustomed to being in a certain way, it is because we have always associated feelings to situations without ever considering the fact that we can still choose how to feel about those situations, we find ourselves to be the way we are. If I am sad about something about me, it's only because I am choosing to be sad about that something about me which is because of the fact that somehow my mind has associated that something about me with a negative emotion. Make sense?

If I am not happy, I am choosing to not be happy. I am choosing to let whatever that has happened to me ruin me. And I know it is so hard to always wait, think and analyse before we react out of the sheer human haste, but if we learn to just be a little patient, we might save ourselves from a lot of pain. Ponder.

With love, peace.