Scrambled Thoughts.

There are times when I'd really want myself to put myself out there and just do things that I usually wouldn't try doing even when I want to do them. Its a lot of pain, to put myself out there especially when the chances of any body coming close to even trying to understand me and the way I am are just astronomically small. It just wouldn't happen.

Hello there, I am the Earthian.

And its taken me a very long time to understand that nobody needs to understand me. Nor does anyone need to even try to understand me, purely because its all about people's choices and they have the right to be the way they are. I really just can't rally against the reality because, for one, it isn't worth it and for another, it just paves ways for me to have to endure even more pain. 

Every time I refrain from being myself, I lose myself and every time I put myself out there, I am anyone but myself and this constant shift in my characters is, I suspect, digging a deep hole for me, right inside of me. Its not always a great feeling, you know, to find yourself constantly amidst chaos. Being the one with different opinions on almost everything is almost enjoyable, until some thing or the other happens and your own words are used against you to bite you. Being social, amidst people, especially amidst ones who are strongly opinionated and are looking for your opinions in topics when you really just yearn to be yourself and not anything else is just a mountain of a deal to me. Did I mention I am a weirdo? At least that's the most popular opinion about me, and its very flattering. Its very suiting too. I'm starting to dig it. Just making it clear that I am indeed not blaming anyone. Every single word I spit out above are just scrambled thoughts trying to unscramble themselves. 

Love, peace.