Not Enough.

Its about time, its about time for me to get real with myself. I find myself hiding away from the real me more often than not and I find myself finding ways to not show who I am to the world just because I think I just am not enough.

Hello there, I am the Earthian.

The truth is, I am not enough, never been too. For most people, I am not even close to being enough. I am not even in the same vicinity of being enough. And the worst part is, I try hard to be enough. I try really hard. Its just, its not in me to be enough I guess. In fact, the more I try to be enough, the more I get restrained, the more I get called out for me being the way I am. The more I try to give in to people because they "care" about me, the more I find my freedom taken away from me. The more I try to be someone who is just enough to people, the more self-worth I lose, the more dignity I lose and the more small minded my world tends to become. And its all coming to an end. I am no longer sorry for being not enough. I am no longer sorry for being the way I am. I am no longer sorry for crimes I did not commit the world around me wants to take credit for. I am no longer going to explain my choices. I am no longer saying "yes" to things I really want to say "no" to and I am no longer saying "no" to things I want to say "yes" to. Do I sound selfish? Perhaps. Perhaps not, it just doesn't matter anymore. Everybody has their two cents to give on my life and guess what, I do too. Only, I have more than just a couple of cents to give because this is my own life. I am not here to be bound by unwritten rules and I am so not here to be a yes-man. I no longer seek to be accepted, let alone understood. If anyone is meant to be in my life, they will, there is no question about that, and the same applies for people who aren't meant to be in my life, they just won't. And if you, by any chance, want to remind me that I am not someone special and that in fact I am just someone who is very much ordinary, guess what, I don't recall asking you for your opinion of who I am or who I am not. Save it for when I actually ask you and I really hope that day never comes.

Love, peace.

Comments

Popular Posts