Zero To Hundred To Zero.

Sometimes it almost feels unrealistic, the way things turn out. From a zero to a hundred to back to a zero, everything in a flash is just not something you expect, because once the hundred is reached, it is more than fair for one to assume that things may never fall back down, at least never to a zero.

Hello there, I'm the Earthian.

But it does fall down to a zero and it does happen more often than not. I don't know if it ever happens to you but it sure as hell happens to me every single time it goes to a hundred. Makes me wonder if I'm doing something wrong or if its just not my thing to have hundreds with people even though, I must admit, I love having hundreds. But somehow, it becomes downhill. And there is no secret. Of all the reasons it gets downhill, the number one reason it gets downhill is because of words. Words that were spoken and words that weren't spoken but surely words that were felt. I think somehow everytime I get close, I also get distant because I'm just scared of getting hurt and more importantly, hurting people. It's really so very easy to let out all of the words that I want to let out but the fact of the matter is that they sting every single time I recall them. I try to be careful, yeah, but I guess I can only be so careful because there are times I face when I either lie to not hurt or I just say the things I say for the sake of honesty. And I prefer the latter for that's what feels fair, honesty even though it just obliterates me from the inside.

I'm not entirely sure how it is that people perceive but sometimes, people do what they do, they say what they say because that's the only option they have left. And its not easy, having to say those words that ruin relationships, those words of anger and frustration. I know it hurts to listen to them, I really do. But just know having to say them is no joke either. It stings and then it stings again, in fact it stings every single time I replay the words in my mind because its not just about the words, its about the people on the other end too. More importantly, its about who those people were to me and what they used to represent and probably still represent.

Love, peace.