Gut.

I feel betrayed. No, no, not in a dramatic "everyone around me is bad" kind of way. I feel betrayed by myself if I'm going to be really honest. Because everytime I do something against my gut its a very big risk. And sometimes, most of the times, its just really not the brightest of ideas to go against my gut and when I do go against it and I when I let myself down, a part of me feels like I did it all on purpose, like I just should have been more convincing to myself.

Hello there, I'm the Earthian.

My gut literally tells me when I'm about to do something really, really dumb. It warns me, it sets all of the alarms inside of me off and it literally does everything it can to drive me, to channel me into the direction that it knows is right for me. But sometimes what my gut shows me and what my silly mind wants are two very different things and I get lured by whatever it is that my mind wants and that just slaps me right on my face, sharply. Because for whatever reason, I listen to all the lies my mind tells me. I listen to them and I betray my gut. Even though a part of me knows my gut is what is going to be right. What lures me? Hope. Hope that maybe, just maybe, things will happen the way my mind wants them to happen, but hope isn't a strategy you see. Its kinda like the last thing you resort to because you have nothing else to cover for you and your actions. And no, it isn't a bad thing, to be hopeful, no. Its just when you hope for people to change the way you want them to change, well, its hopeless.

Lots of love, peace.