Struggles.

I'm really just tired of being so tired all the time. I want to feel alive, its been so long since that has happened and I really just can't wait to do so. I want to run somewhere far, far away, I want to scream at the top of my lungs and I want to forget everything, for at least a very short while and I, more than anything else, want to feel alive.

Hello there, I'm the Earthian.

I'm really sick and tired of being apologetically me for everything that I am. I am really sick and tired of being good enough to be almost friends with people but not quite good enough to be actual friends. I am really sick and so tired of being battered and wounded for almost next to no reason. I am sick and tired of being with people who want nothing more than just what I have to offer and no part of whoever I actually am. I am sick and tired of always being on the tip of my toes, trying to be careful. I either am tripping others and making them fall down or its me who's falling down. And I wish I didn't have to walk on such a tightrope all the time. Where ever I go, how ever I go, I seem to be taking hostages so I just wish I could be really alone. Alone for real, because that way, I at least wouldn't be hurting anyone. I wish people didn't pretend they care. Because I'm okay with nobody caring. I'll survive that. I can't take any more lies. I can't afford to. Because a part of me is struggling and I can't let it go on for too long. I hope you understand.

Love, peace.