Origin.

With so much to occupy my mind, I find myself looking for things that would help me get disengaged with all of this chaos. This madness, the one that I hate just as much as I love is, well, like any other madness, maddening. Sometimes, it drags me in when I don't want it to and sometimes it spits me out when, again, I don't want it to and this control, or should I say lack of control, I have over it is constricting, constraining and suffocating me over and over again and I just wish there were something I could do to disengage myself from this, once and for all. I mean, is that too much to ask for?

Hello there, I'm the Earthian.

There has to be a better way to deal with all of this. I mean, no matter what, I am always going to not be "me" enough and too "me" at the same time, only to different people. No matter what, I'm always going to be a moron and a sweet peach at the same time to different people, no matter what I'm always going to be important and a complete waste of space and time at the same time to different people. Not just this, I'm going to be everything in between at the same time to other people. I'm going to not meet expectations and I'm going to have my expectations not met. I'm going to have people mean the whole world to me whilst I'm nothing to those exact people and there just might be someone I'm unintentionally ignoring way too much to whom I mean the whole world.

And no, this is not the chaos. All of this is completely fine. Every last bit of it is completely agreeable and I am with the whole of my heart okay with it. The chaotic part about this is the dishonesty that comes all along with it. Somewhere along the lines people have learnt to lie, lie to hurt, lie to not get hurt, lie because of hate, lie because of love, lie because it just feels like the better thing to do, lie because it is the safer thing to do or just lie because that's what our instincts tell us to do. And with every lie, the chaos gets worse and with every lie told to make it better is only going to make it even worse.

My (not so sincere) apologies for these messy words.

Love, peace.