Control.

I sometimes wish I had the ability to control the outcome of everything that's happening around me. There are just so many things I lack control over and it all seems unfair at times, the way things happen.

Hello there, I am the Earthian.

I keep telling myself "if only I could...", and the truth is, I can't. I really can't because the fact of the matter is I do in fact have zero to negative control over everything that has been happening around me. And trying to let go of that need to control, of that need to bring back things to how they used to be, fix things, especially fix those things that don't necessarily want to be fixed or those that can't be fixed, is exceptionally hard. The only thing that I do have control over  is how I react and respond to everything that has been happening and even that, not to the maximum possible extent. Sometimes, all I can do is laugh at myself at how I trapped I am in this transient vortex of life. I only get to laugh at everything I get to go through and then laugh a little more at whomever I am becoming. But it's no joke when things get rough all of a sudden. Especially when something as smooth as butter becomes undeservedly rough. To remind myself of how bad the cards that life dealt me are every single time I get a bad hand is just an added chore that I am not exactly sure how I feel about.

I am hopeful though. The sun has always risen, the stars have always shone and no matter where I am, however I am right now, I am sure it can all only get better.

Lots of love, peace.