Impulse.

Sometimes we do stupid things. Or at least I do stupid things. So stupid that I end up feeling embarrassed and humiliated for long periods of time.

Hello there, I'm the Earthian, I call myself one.

Now I'm not going to talk about the actual stupid thing but I am going to talk about how I end up doing that stupid thing.
Have you ever been in that state of mind where you just see something and go like "what's the worst thing that could happen out of this?"? That's how it originates for me. I do these things out of sheer impulse and with sheer recklessness. I do them with minimal thoughts on it and I do it with a heart that keeps reminding me that I am in fact doing something very stupid. I just never listen to it. I keep going down with it, until I hit the rock bottom. I don't think I stop even then. I take my figurative drill and keep drilling the rock bottom until I actually end up breaking my drill. That's when it hits me. That's when I start realising how stupid I've actually been and that's exactly when a huge wave of guilt, embarrassment and humiliation hits me and I go down for good. It takes a long time for me to emotionally get back up.

But, I guess, like some say, I think I just have to go to those places to actually know the existence of better ones. I really wish there was a better way to learning but I guess it's always experience that teaches us the best of lessons.

Maybe I can just laugh it off someday. I'd be looking forward to that day for sure.

Lots of love, peace.