Receptiveness.

There are certain things I have done in my life that I am not sure why I did. They just sort of happened all too quickly and I am not entirely sure if I did them with the whole of my heart. I wonder if I even put in the slightest part of my heart into those things.

Hello there, I am the silly dude who writes silly things under the identity "the Earthian". 

The truth is social situations and scenarios aren't my cup of tea. I am not the most receptive socially, I am not the smartest and I don't usually know how it is that I am supposed to respond to what situations. I say the wrong things at the wrong times and funnily, I don't even realize I've said the wrong things until my words are already half way across the continent. And then it strikes me, after very long a period, and for what? The damage would have already been done. And like I've said before, words can't even be taken back. Once said is good enough for a lifetime of hurting and I guess my words always come back at me.

And sometimes, it's not what I have said. It's what I didn't say, things I should have said that I didn't say, that haunt me. Things I should have done but didn't do, not necessarily on purpose are the things that ruin most of my relationships. 

Oftentimes it's a lot more than I can handle, way too much more than I can handle but I guess this is my learning way. There are no shortcuts, no fall-backs. I go in, get burnt, stay burnt until I go back in again. Apparently I am just supposed to know certain things. And I don't know those certain things. I never will either, because for me to know them, I need to know where to start and I don't even have the slightest idea of where to start. And no, none of this is a rant. Just putting myself out there for whatever it's worth.

Love, peace.