Dwindling Hope.

Having been brought up in a society that frowns upon the slightest form of emotional proximity and having been around people who would much rather one up eachother than grow together, I often wonder how it is that I am ever going to last. And no, I'm not suggesting their way is in any form or way wrong, just that it's a way I'm struggling to catch hold of and understand.

Hello there, I'm the Earthian.

And sometimes, no matter how much I tell myself otherwise, how much I convince myself otherwise, a part of me just won't admit that it does bother me. I can go along with a straight face for a long time but sooner than later, I suspect, it's not going to be straight anymore. And I know I need some form of liberation, some form of relief, some form of pacification that things are going to be good but the problem with that is that sometimes I lose my own voice doing this. I tell myself all these lies that make things no better, except give me some dwindling hope. Hope that momentarily makes me wear a smile that is taken away immediately by something that's completely unfair. Yeah, I know, nobody promised me life is fair and yeah, I know this is what I have to live with but sometimes, no matter how much I try, it just doesn't matter.

The questions I have these days mostly revolve around how do I sustain myself. Or do I even sustain myself? I'm not sure.

Love, peace.