Who am I? (13)

I can readily forgive anyone. And I mean anyone. I don't mind forgiving the person who has brought my worst nightmares to reality too. But the one person I struggle to forgive is myself. Because somehow I am always way too hard on myself.

Hello there, I'm the Earthian.

And I don't know if it is a good or a bad thing, not being able to forive myself. Am I the only one?
Maybe my expectations from myself are too high. Maybe I am used to looking at myself as someone who needs to be treated hardly. Maybe lack of dignity. Maybe I try and occupy the moral high ground against myself. Maybe any reason.
But what it does to me is that it fills me up with guilt. It's valid guilt though. Because, deep inside, I know I could have done a better job at something that I didn't do a decent job on. Because, deep inside, I know I could have chosen better. Because, deep inside, I know for sure that I'm worth a lot more than I think I am but I never bring that to reality.
I know that it's me who brings most of the chaos that happens in my life. It's me who is almost solely responsible for whatever that happens to me.

I am learning though. Learning to appreciate myself, you know, pat myself on the back if that's what I need to do. Learning to forgive myself, slowly. I am learning to fight for me and my dignity. I am learning to look at myself, not as a criminal but as a human being. I am learning to love myself, truly.

Lots of love, peace.