Ruffled Feathers.

I've been thinking about it for quite some time now. What do I want the most right now? What would be the best ever thing that I can do for myself right now? What's that one thing that if I do for myself, will I be eternally grateful to myself? What's that one thing that can take away almost everything that I've had to go through including, the good, the great, the bad and ugly that I've had to see throughout the course of my life, thus far? What would or could be that thing that can bring about a smile on my face with those lonely streaks of tears that are currently rolled up in the corner of my eyes that are struggling to just burst out and roll through my cheeks, giving me a salty taste whilst leaking onto my shoulders? What could be that one thing that I could do to myself that would make me forget all of my past and that would remind me to forget all of what's to happen in the future because I have no control over them anyway and just make me focus all of my attention, and I mean all of it, on just each passing second? What could make attain that? Or is there even something that make do that? Does this even make sense? The answer to all my questions and the answer to all the questions I've had in the past and those that I will for sure have in the future, I wonder where its lurking around, surely, its not unattainable, is it? Oh wait, you're just like me? Someone who only has questions and not many answers? Or are you just here to give me a lie in the name of a promise that everything will be fine? Because if that's what you are here to do, I assure you, I'm not seeking "fine", I don't know, yet, what it is that I am seeking, but I am sure that I'm not seeking lies and cautionary tales.

Oh, if that made you uncomfortable, please pretend you were never here. Eh, rude? Maybe. Honest, sure. Peace.