Unprecedented Feeling.

Every time I put myself into a situation that I am not entirely comfortable with, every time I try having conversations with people I haven't had conversations with in the past, every time I try mingling with people the way I usually don't mingle with, every time I do this and end up enjoying the time I spent with the people I spent time with, a part of me starts wanting to run away.

Hello there, I am the Earthian.

It screams into my ears that me enjoying time with people is not what I am used to doing. Its the truth, whatever it shares and screams into my ears. My whole life starts flashing right in front of my eyes. On the first hand, there is a part of me that says its okay for me to mingle and have fun and that its even something that would help me emotionally. And then there is this other part of me that says that I am losing myself every time I do something like that. I have spent so much time just by myself that at this point, any conversation I have with anyone feels unnatural. And the result of this is an unsettled mind that keeps wavering over the facts I mentioned above. Something always feels unnatural and unprecedented about me actually being happy spending time with people. The feeling is unsettling, almost painful, not quite just yet. And I really am not sure what to do about it.

Love, peace.