Encapsulation.

My mind often used to play games with me. It used to take me to my absolute limits of greatness and bring me to the gutter all at once. And I realized it was because of me and only me. Somewhere along the line, I had taught my mind that it is not healthy for me to dream big. Somewhere along, I had taught my mind to always look out for negatives and make me aware of the traps I could potentially fall into.

Hello there, I'm the Earthian, yet again.

With enough time, what had happened is that, I had taught my mind to remind me of negatives, even when I was in a really positive situation. So everytime there really was something for me to look forward to, I used to get a reminder, a reminder to not get too caught up in that.
This then triggered all the negative things that can potentially happen which would then just break me down. There was a part of me that got crudely satisfied every time I had one such fall downs. Basically, what I had taught myself is that it was wrong to feel positive and good without having done any appreciable work. Work that is accepted, appreciated and approved by others!

My favourite part of these games is that I didn't even know whose applause I was waiting for. And when I searched for that person, he turned out to be the person I see when I look at the mirror.
I learnt to soak those good moments in and cherish them while I still can. Sure, I have my setbacks, downfalls and tragedies. But it is no reason for me to strip myself off of the positive moments that I sometimes had the opportunity to encapsulate myself in.

Lots of love, peace.